2 main women. Lori/Jessica, Margie. One guy always says Margie in NY accent. What is with that guy? Lori. Whatever Lori. Lori, It's porn. I'm a vegetarian. PORN - you know. Margie: I imagine that the character would curse--if she came from any sort of bad situation and is really tough and young (smile-kind of like me!!!) of course she would curse in a rough around the edges kind of way--especially when someone tries to pull one over on her. Being an audience member on the Price is right isn't a fucking acting job! Lori: I can't go for a while, I 'm still trying to call central casting. Margie: Just because you play football doesn't give you the right to be an asshole. Margie: You have to look for the guys your Grandmother would describe as being nice young men. They are the ones you can control. Lori: Sister's friend from back home. Is nice to Lori, but is a bit whatever. Lori is bit naive. Gradually one softens and the other hardens. 2 nice guy types who will do anything for them. Hey Jack, how you been? I went back to Ohio for a while. Stupid hand gesture - rocknroll. Hi Lori. She returned my email. Hey man I read this stuff on the internet about picking up women. Studying different shit, but the execution just doesn't work. Have you been drinking? regular nice guys will drive the women anywhere, anytime in hope that one day they will get together with them. The women are quite cold and calculating about it. Kind of geeky types, but good natured. They eventually become good at picking up. old timer. He's been doing a Glen Campbell/Meatloaf impersonation show in the shittest casino in Las Vegas/LA. Marcus Penache. Old, burnt out character. Bitter and twisted, but has some really great views on Hollywood and making it. He has been so close to fame and just missed out so many times it sickens him. He has pictures with old celebrities - he really came close. "As soon as that one becomes dead in the toilet, they make another movie." How many movies have you seen Glen Fucking campbell in Lately? There isn't much of a future in DUI and beating up cops! "It says walk, asshole." Old guy as he is walking. A lot of people come here and think the world owes them a favor. They think that a star or Producer or whatever it just going to walk up to them and give them a job (image of Producer type approaching the character). It just won't happen. They don't owe you a fucking thing. Any chance you could spot me $1.29 for a 20 ounce can of beer? Never do something for someone and expect anything in return. This is LA, dickhead! Parallel part of something bigger, but they really downplay it. Connected to the IT girl. Between the girls: snotty, what's up. Out hot each other. Dudes checking them out. Over the top - hot girls. Secondary women characters, working at Diners, etc. Irish guy. Not a typical drunken Irishman. Is everyone in this town an ex-con? What the fuck is he talking about. This isn't LA. The fuck you looking at - non US character. Interesting characters: Take your insane bullshit elsewhere you stoner fuck. Pressure from the girlfriend. Well, you see, my gf thinks you're a dick. Hes doing community service. He was one of the ones prosecuted for using Kazaa. Judge gave him 150 hours of freeway cleanup detail. BitTorrent is much fucking better anyway. Final answer. You know what, she's hot. How old is she? The woman from the view. Man, I wouldn't mind throwing her a lifeline. She is a genuine bona-fide MILF. Vanna white. She's been going for 25 years and still guys in Mississippi/Arkansas are jerking off over her. He dead. That mother fucker dead. I lost 40 pounds. Really? That's amazing. You lost all that weight and you're still full of shit. About SAG: When I write that check, I'm so fucking bitter. I'm not voting with them or you. I'm voting if this will help everyone in the union. I lecture at a Community College about the Union. Football, Martin Lawrence thats what I try to model after. A football player is cool but how about a college or highschool football player that has no skills that is on the team to say that hes on the team to get the girls and the coach would put him in to get a laugh because the player gets scared but then gets better. One guy who just recites lines from films. He wants to be a scriptwriter and really knows his shit. Has a shitload of DVDs, etc. I do that to make money, but I'm really a screenwriter. Actually, I have a script/my Demo, etc with me. I can see him being funny. Always making funny comments to whatever was said but through movies. Like stuff that has already been done and said. He could be funny only through quotes. He always reacts to things in a funny manor. If something bad happens he tries to make the best of it and laughs it off some how. Interesting characters. Johndeer is a stoner type. Standing outside CBS studio City. Lame promotional stunt. Stoner. Fishing with his demo attached. Arrogant character. Main boss of the sleazy business. Dealing coke/pimping, etc. He only ever says good job, and will try and crack onto her if he has had a line. She gets all excited and he says don't worry about it. Scizini, Grossman, Ensafi, Szeto, Sharifi, Siminetti, Scaminetti. Cutting up with a Ralph's card, then in Ralphs's wiping it off on pants before giving it to the cashier. Film through the window and blur out any people/loop the sound in. Telemarketing job - calls for mortgages, phones etc. Doing the shitty work to make it. Telesales skit: Hi Mr Sciarra, this is John calling from OPT: Who? John. Who? John Mr Sciarra? what? Are you there? whobidy, dog bop, laughter whatever. Hang up. I fucking hate this job. Voice over dude doing voices on the phone. Telesales - Sherman starting a mortgage business, porno video business - these leadsa re dogshit, they're 4 years old. Temp comes in and takes over the whole business. Temp running the show. What you want, deals. Table for 4 at Georgios. Want some piece. $3 a slice. Whats the deal with this charge. Exclamation charge. Shabiily doing the job. Calls the old guy/fuck you. I still rent. Wakes up in a pile of beer bottles. Who are you people? Stop calling me. I'm not interested in any mortgages. Take me off your list. (NY woman) Hi, this is (hangup)...fuck you. Oh a loan officer, we're going with that one tonight are we. Well, actually my sister in law works at a bank. Well, actually, I'm an actor, so fuck you too. Yes, Mr Sciarra, fuck you very much. Will he/she be back this evening? Perhaps. Ok, perhaps I'll call back. Is that Mrs Fingers? No, I'm sorry, she's not here at the moment. Will she be back later. No, she's out for the night. Well, I hope she has a good time. Laughter from lady. Interview: You know they say you shouldn't take it personally, but I do. I don't think I was out of line there. Cut to scene of the dude losing it and walking out. Works for Arrogant Boss. Wheeler/dealer type trying to get into business. Sherman. Dalia: "Hi welcome to the Collosal Craft corner. Would you like to try one of our 12 flavorfull varities of arts and crafts memorabillia." No, we're interested in the billiard chalk market. Straight, always happy and doing the job. Oh my god, I know he likes me. Don't speak to my homies like that. Asian talks black. Obnoxious Nashhole. Just yell phrases. This fucken blows, I am going to get a 5th and get fucked up y'all. Porn. All the pink you can eat. Texas long horn. Everything's bigger and better in Texas. He is always walking around with a can or small bottle. Maybe do the blur over the label or have it in a paper bag. Andy - She was checking me out. Nasty hole tennis show. Crazy fucked up guy from Miami. Gonna get drunk and be somebody. Texas character. Fuck all y'all. The Australian character, Lee Crosby. Parents were one of the first into Network marketing. Pharoahs at the top of the pyramid. That's cool. Bullshit - have you ever had you parents try to sell shit at your 8th Birthday party? I did. Is everyone in this town an ex-con? The crocodile hunter is a fucking moron. Its like me asking you if you like people from Mississippi or some other red neck place. All I do is assume I am never going to get the chance to see them again. You know, live each day as though it were your last and all that bullshit. Music guy Gary Shandling/Jerry Seinfeld lookalike. Chatsworth Porno types Smith - Mike Stewart. Yeah, I 'm related to Jon. Seeing a poster for unscripted. Three dicks, one old time actor. B grade TV. Only on HBO. Guitar song. Its such a pity, Studio City. Episodes 1. Hang on, I thought I was going to LA! First episode. Characters arrive. What do people think and feel when they first arrive? Bus station/ Burbank airport. San Bernadino.. Margie explains she has been out here for about 3 months. Slowly getting things going. Lori is her friends younger sister from Ohio. Lori is pretty naive and startstruck at first. This is not LA! They are staying in the valley and Lori is a bit shocked - she had no idea about the layout of LA. She goes from not liking it to saying hey this is cool. You know what, I'm in LA. We meet the other characters - Marat, Sherman and the woman. Thomas the script writer, Willie, the football guy, Roy the old timer. Nash hole. Locations: Burbank bus, an apartment. Book store/video store. Wille on the street. Roy liqor store. Cafe. The women get hit on by one or two normal guys - looks like we got ourselves a couple of WMAs - and the nice characters who Margie decides to take advantage of. Margie talking about making it, Lori unpacking suitcase in the background. She has her pajamas, face pack, etc. We have to sort out a car and get her on some auditions. 2. Going to central casting. At an audition after spending half the day on the phone to central casting. Meeting each other. I do that to make money, but I'm really a screenwriter. Actually, I have my Demo, etc with me. So, how long have you been here? Including today? Golf trainer infomercial. People with no ability turning up, etc. One for Chatsworth - Warehouse in Chatsworth audition. Dodgy. Other girls at the audition - sleazy, slutty types. Margie makes a comment about the sleazy, slutty types but is very friendly when meeting them. Obviously for a Porno, but Lori doesn't pick up on it. Jokes about being a fluffer. Run into each other at auditions. Some are cold, others friendly. Brief. Braggin, asking about dates as though they already have the audition. When was the job again - ok I'll cross it off. Person at the window - are they offered anything by the actors to try and get their headshot to the top of the pile? 3. What am I going to do now? My car's fucked. Broken down in LA. When it isn't such a bad thing to be at the mechanics. Contacts you can make with people there and with the main guy. Seeing LA by bus. You know, it was acutally better than I thought. "It says walk, asshole." Old guy as he is walking. Everyone in cars. Broken down car episode. Sure, I'll take a look at - $49.95 Better business bureau 1989 and stuff like that. Dodgy mechanics. A day on the buses. Location - Keith's Automobilia. You just never know who can help you out or who you'll meet at the mechanics. 4. Telemarketing sucks. Finding a job - the telesales job from hell. You can't survive in this town on $10 an hour. I applied for a job answering phones at a real estate office. There were 35 people waiting in the rain when I arrived. Scaminetti character and the mortgage business. He has missed the peak and is late into it, using shitty 4 year old leads. Temp comes in and starts running the show, selling pizza, etc. One scene, where a character says how much they hate it. End of show has them back on the phones, with a picture of an award on the desk. Grin and bear it. Telemarketing is a good job, you can make some money and it is very hard to be fired. They need you more than you need them. 5. Lessons/mentor. Find a good coach and the world will come to you. If you build it they will come. That was a fucken baseball field in Oaklahoma. Record a call about acting/voice over lessons. How many lessons do I need to take before I can get a job? Marat, Sherman and Traci come up with the idea to start their own acting school. The Scuminetti school of acting. The scams and cottage industry that is teaching people acting. 6. The Industry Party/going out. Everyone is invited to a party at a house and they all think it will be the start of something big, or will it. People going way over the top with bending the truth. It is a chance to perform, but how many of them actually take it. The interesting characters invited to a Hollywood house Party. It looks at though people are handing out scripts, etc, but it is actually other things. One guy bums drinks of everyone, then at the end of the night, they all call him on it. One guy being left being at the club after closing time at 2am. 7. You just never can tell. Who the fuck was that? Yoda syndrome - snubbing people based on appearance, when they may actually be Hollywood power brokers. The power meeting in the cafes and diners. What to do when they meet someone. Party on. Talking it up. Name dropping. Full of shit. Red lights going off. If you know a Producer, you don't come to this place. You are full of shit. Everybody is there to try and do something. People you meet at Taco Bell, everywhere. 8. Waiting for your big break - how long do people give it? One of the characters wants to leave, but they all rally together and make sure he/she stays. Maybe a good final episode for the first series. Seeing the big players. What do people do with the chance to give a demo, etc? Willie story about being on the streets, hungry and about to ask a guy for some money. I'm only going to give it a few more weeks, then something turns up. There will be new people coming as the old ones leave. Who will still be here? ok hi these are ideas i thought of that are dorky but perhaps fun "CSI" cat snack investigation. film cats snooping around in the kitchen, which they do, with voice overs (us 3) of the cats and what they'd be saying to their owners. or cats snooping anywhere, cat snack investigation.... it could evolve into a pet product commercial, a pet PSA for a non profit, or something fun. i;ve never filmed a cat and dont know if their eyes would reflect oddly or what not. "who wants to drink with a millionaire" well who wants to marry a millionaire, and the millionaire game show are a bit played out but who wants to drink.... that would be fun, of course they'd pay. go door to door in beverly hills with a cooler and 6 pack, ring the bell, ask if the owner is a millionaire.... etc, i have a few ideas on how to find / film the finding of the millionaire.... ah it was a drunken band idea from yrs ago, but none of us had a camera to film it, nor the motivation, well i did but the other guys didnt. ok i'm watchng the cd you sent in a few minutes. cheers michelle